Jesus is still in the business of changing lives
Me baptizing Krystal August 24, 2008
Are you a checklist Christian? (In Krystal’s own words)
Then maybe it is time to evaluate your personal relationship with God. I was a checklist Christian until just recently when a discussion with Ron Kennedy made me stop and re-evaluate my personal (and practically non-existent) relationship with God. I grew up with divorced parents. My mother hated my real father who was in and out of my life, but my dad was always constant. When he decided to marry my mom, he asked both my brother and me if he could marry all of us. My dad is Italian Catholic and my mom is Baptist and grew up in church. This conflict of religions made my parents weary of forcing any religion on me or my brother. We were told that God was in Heaven and that we would have consequences for our actions, but we were never required to go to church. We were required to say grace before our meals and prayers at bed time. My real father and my mother were always fighting and my mother was granted full custody. She allowed my father to have visitation rights and when I was 8, he took us one weekend and decided not to return us to my mother. Two weeks later, we were rescued by my dad and it would be ten years before I saw my father again. Then when I was 12 my mom got pregnant with my little sister. This would actually be my dad’s first child of his own and my brother and I knew that things would never be the same. And we were right. Katelynn was adorable and we loved her very much. But my brother and I both felt that my dad loved her more than he loved us. This was worse than having two fathers: now I felt like I had no father. And then two years later, we also had Kristopher. So there it was: we had been replaced. My brother and I began taking care of each other, feeling that we were now the only family that we had.
In high school I was baptized with my brother and started with the impression that being a good Christian required you to meet all of the items on a spiritual checklist. I went to church, sang the hymns, prayed when something was wrong and thanked him when things went right. Then college changed everything. My brother and I went our separate ways, going to different colleges and meeting different people. I stopped going to church, no longer read the Bible, and still felt that I was “ok” because I remembered to pray when things were bad and thank him when things were good. I got into partying and fell in love with a guy. He filled the gap in my heart that was emptied by the “loss” of my fathers to either their hateful relationship with my mother, or their devotion to their other children. I let him be unfaithful and continued to forgive him, not wanting to lose the only man in my life. I went through job after job, never really finding one that I could stick with. None of them gave a sense of belonging, even when I was managing and in charge, I was not happy.
Then I took the job offer here at Liberty. Coming here I knew that I was facing a challenge. I had to quit my job as the bar manager for Ruby Tuesday, quit my graduate classes at Lynchburg College, and basically change my entire life to take this job. I went that night and prayed about my decision. In a stream of tears, I called to tell my brother my decision to take the job at Liberty. Then I had a new challenge to face: I was surrounded by all of these people who were better checklist Christians than I was. Then I realized that their faith went beyond the checklist: IT WAS A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD! Ron made me stop and realize that I needed to get away from the checklist concept and realize that I could have a personal relationship with God that went beyond anything that words or a checklist could describe.
I pulled Ron aside after our morning huddle just to tell him that I had been making some changes in my life that he had challenged us to make. As we kept talking, he asked me about my relationship with God. I began to explain that I really didn’t have one. What I thought I had, had not been a genuine relationship, it was much the way a teenager treats their parents: When I need you I’ll call, otherwise stay out of my life. As Ron tried to describe the way it felt to have a true relationship with Christ, he found that he did not have the words. As he sat there at a loss for words at what God could do for me, I knew that I wanted what Ron couldn’t find the words to describe. At that moment, I felt that God had led me to Ron, so that Ron could lead me into a real relationship with God. I accepted his offer to guide me through accepting Christ into my life and into my heart. He brought Stephanie, the assistant director of admission consultants into the conference room to help me embark upon my new journey. As I repeated her prayer to accept Christ, I began to cry and shake. I knew that my life had been changed forever and I knew that this time was different.
I have only been a part of this adventure and on my journey for about a week now, but I can already tell that things have changed. My relation with my fiancé has already improved with Christ as our common ground. My thirst for Christian knowledge feels unquenchable but everyone has been quick to help by providing me with books, CD’s and my very first Bible. Since that day, I have felt that my heart is full and that I no longer wonder where I am in my walk with God, because I know that I am now on the path that he has for my life and I know that “I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13. I got baptized only four days after accepting Christ. Ron took the honor of leading my baptism. With my fiancé, Ron and Peggy standing by my side, I was raised into my new life as a Christian, without the checklist and with a true, personal relationship with God.
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